Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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