I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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