your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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