lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
3pm strippers are depressing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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