Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
