I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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