I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
