I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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