guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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