ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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