dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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