You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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