my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
