i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
