He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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