Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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