last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't EVER smell your tampon
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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