so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do vagina's smell?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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