Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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