i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
