11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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