I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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