i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize