He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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