I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
