I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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