Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
