Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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