OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
