We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
