I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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