shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
