Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
