sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize