As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
