I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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