ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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