do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
