I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
