Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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