I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
