spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
