I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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