so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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