yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
