Christians are straight up FREAKS
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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