he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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