youre lurking in front of me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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