i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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