Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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