Just mADE A PArabola og urine
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
