kristin has been a bad kristin
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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