let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
