dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
PANTIES FOUND
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
