but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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