So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
