i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
