SEEEEXXX PLEASE
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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