Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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