Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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