thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
