My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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