I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
