I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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