no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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